I'm Baaaaccckkk!!!!

Heyyyyy ya'll!!! Ok, Ok...I can feel your side eyes through the computer screen. I know I have been "slippin' on my pimpin'" lately by not posting any new blogs, but your girl has been in the process of trying to "get her life" for the past few months *inserts face palm, crying face and if they had one an "I'm tired boss" emoji*...but anywho, let me catch you guys up on what's been going on with me.

My last post was right before my 32nd birthday and I shared with you guys how I planned to level up for "chapter 32". Well to be honest with you guys I feel like I have done some leveling up, down and all around. I got a new 9 to 5 (well more like 8 to 2) but the point is I got a new job lol because as the old saying goes "love don't pay the bills". Thankfully, this is one of the best jobs I have ever had as far as actually enjoying my work, so I don't mind working it while still pursuing my dreams, and honestly, have steady employment actually helps me with that part. It's true that it "takes money to make money" so the extra cash will help me pay for the much needed things like updated headshots, an upgraded website, classes, etc. I've also been helping my husband with his tax offices during the tax season so most of my days are spent working during the day and being mommy at night. 

Needless to say, I have been one tired mama for the past few months. Physically I have been tired but I also noticed that emotionally and mentally I felt drained. I'm a giver by nature and I found myself giving, giving, giving to everybody and everything but myself. My dreams, including my non-profit, "The LEAH Project" fell by the wayside. I became discouraged because it seemed like no matter what I did or how hard I worked, I wasn't in the place that I felt that I should be. I continued to make videos during this time and post them to my social media accounts and got some pretty good feedback on them but they never seemed to get support beyond my friends and family. I stopped and started a book and television script while dealing with bouts of writers block that would sometimes cause me to go weeks without writing. 

In short, I was in a slump. I just couldn't figure out why it seemed like so many people around me were off being successful and I was just stuck. I felt like a hamster in one of those little hamster wheels. Like I was constantly "running" but getting no where. I could see the prize but just couldn't get there. So I've decided that it's time to refocus. This means taking steps again, even if their just baby steps, towards my goal. So in the next few months I'll be having my first real photo shoot! It's true that I love getting dolled up (I mean I don't call myself Breyonce' for nothing), but these pics will be posted on my upgraded website. Along with new videos and more "consistent-ish" blog posts lol. I'm a work in progress but I've convinced myself that I am worth the work! It's not going to be easy but as my mama aka "Jesus Best Friend"  used to always quote, "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13). 

So if you guys are here for the ride, I 'preciate cha, and if not...well that's ok too! God revealed to me that I know longer have to chase people for support, that instead he would bring the right people to me. So I'm going to continue on this journey with this big ol' beautiful head held high and encourage everyone of you that are reading this post to do the same!